Friday, July 29, 2011
For example: "An important recall affecting hundreds nationwide, find out what it is and if you're affected at 11."
Oh, that's peachy. I'll just sit on the floor and not touch ANYTHING until 11, so I'm safe until you tell me about the product that may or may not KILL me. That's cool, really guys.
Don't even lie, gentlemen, you're thinking about that.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
First of all, why would you even do that in the first place? What on earth would be behind the curtain that wouldn't just ambush you as soon as you entered the room?
Second of all, what would you do if there was (on the extremely off chance) someone or something with bad intentions behind the curtain?
Let's be honest, that's just silly. (Now excuse me while I check under my bed for dead bodies and in my closet for dinosaurs.)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Dear severely overweight douchebag who I had to share a lift with in the St. Louis Arch:
I know, it takes 4 solid minutes to get to the top, but that does not give you the right to fill that 4 minute time span with talk of how the lifts got stuck for two hours in 110 degree heat only two weeks ago. If the ride had been 4 minutes and 30 seconds, you would have been unconscious by the end.
The girl who was blocking you out by singing rock songs featured in movies.